Liz and I are not yet fabulously blog famous to hold an actual commercial award ceremony to award small, frightening statues of our faces watching with horror/disgust/delight the winner or loser’s commercial.
We’d probably call them the Ad-Wards (rolls off the tongue right?) and the Orbitz gum I’m-Not-From-England-But-My-Parents-Are-So-I-Do-A-Spot-ON-Britty-Accent lady would be our host. Fabulous! I can see it all know and I know just what we’d wear.
It’s all coming together now (in my head) and so I’d like to predict the winner in the “Biggest Hack Campaign” category. It’s hard! There are so many terrible ad campaigns out there! But I honestly think we all know who’s going to win. It’s like pitting Meryl Streep against Caroline Rhea. Duhvs! (Caroline, right? She’s so funnnnnyyyyyypoop.)
Two Words.
Taco. Bell.
I’m talking Taco Bell post “Yo quero cutie dog” campaign. Cuz everyone loved that lil puppy. And I love puppies so I loved those ads. Hehehe, the puppy talks like a man! Hehehehehehehe!
A puppy keychain!? Does the cuteness never stop?? Get yours now at ultimatekeychains.com. Ultimate? Keychains? Come on.
But where OH WHERE has that puppy gone now!? The ads of late have been TERRIBLE. Some of the worst I’ve ever seen because not only are they trying to be funny and FAILING MISSERABLY, they don’t make any sense at all!
The most recent commercial I noticed, which put me on this Ad-Ward rampage, features three employees standing in a conference room eating the new Nacho Crunch Grilled Stuffed Burrito. It has small chip strips in the burrito so you get that delicious “crunch” every time you take a bite (can I just note that I, the semi-thin girl with a fat boy living inside her, have been doing that for years. Along with dipping Domino’s Pizza in ranch dressing. Can I get a witness!?). The girl in the commercial is enjoying her burrito a little TOO MUCH so the guy with her says, “be careful, don’t have TOO much fun, you know Jim likes to have fun around these parts.” Who is this Jim?
A dude dressed in a clown suit. What??? Wait… I must have missed something. Let me go back. Ok. Right. Office. Suits. Uh huh. Girl. Burrito. Delicious. Drool. Crunch. Right. Ok. Fun. Jim. Clown Suit! Damn it! I DON’T GET IT!!
That is just lazy you a-holes. Come on. Look at your competition out there! The gecko! The talking gecko! Everyone hearts him because now, not only is he so well animated he’s practically alive, he has an adooooorbs Brit accent that endears him even more to us. You delightful voice of reason!
I hate you Taco Bell. I hate the “I’m FULL!!” campaign. I hate the “Fourth Meal” campaign. I hated the people in togas. The “Good to Go” family who kicks their son out of the house while he’s enjoying another of your tasty creations. I hate it ALL.
I realize me saying this holds absolutely no weight as I will indeed eat at a Taco Bell again in this lifetime (those tacos! i can’t re-zest!) and if I were to audition for a Taco Bell commercial and be called back for said commercial, I would make sure my “hold” dates were free and clear. I’m no dummy.
A final note: In doing research for this blog post I went to the taco bell website and found that they are actually a very classy place with classy lounge music playing. You should check it out.
Posted by Glennis 