A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are totes my bff

RHR

 I don’t know about you all, but I keep my jewels safe in a little nook inside a floor tile beneath my toilet. But some people…it’s like they’re asking for their ice to be stolen.

“I just love having houseguests. If you need anything, just ask! Fresh towels are in the bathroom on the hook.”

 “Great thanks, I might just hop in the shower right now. Oh, hey um….I don’t see any towels in here, just…all…of…your…diamonds.”

 “Oh! Duhhh! Towel rack, diamond rack, I never remember what goes where anymore! Those are just my right-hand rings. They empower me as a single woman. Anyway, I think I don’t have any more towels since I spent all my money on diamonds because I’m unmarried and unsure that I’ll ever get a man to buy me one. So you can wipe yourself off with this garbage bag. Also, the hot water nozzle is cold and the cold one is hot, so test the water before you get in!”

Best friends forever!

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5 Responses to A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are totes my bff

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