Kleenex, we need to talk.
I was, granted, confused by your “therapist on a couch in the middle of town” commercials for tissues but I accepted it. I said to myself, “ok. They’re reminding people it’s ok to cry. Or…something” and I watched and I moved on.
And listen. I understand that your new trademark is “Let It Out” but now you’ve got people sitting in public demonstrating how to blow your nose. So if we’re following the progression of “letting things out” then naturally the next thing is… I mean I hate to go there but…
Jizz.
Right?
I mean it’s obvious we use you (your product) for that. Why would you block out an entire market? Why, I keep a neat little box with puppies burying bones (approps dontcha think?) aside my bed just for those special occasions.
That’s all I really have to say. I just really want a commercial with some dude jerking it in the midst of people heading to work with someone telling him to “let it out.” I think that would be tops. If you read the “Let It Out” blog (what? why.) and imagine they’re talking about spooge it’s pretty hilarious.
“We want you to let it out because we believe that keeping things bottled up inside does no good.”
Amen.
So, Kleenex, I enjoy your tissues and the sentiment but let’s take things to the 21st century and just lay our cards on the table: you guys make a sturdy baby-juice catcher. Stand proud!
(I also use your product when I cry after sex.)
Sincerely,
Glennis
