I think I’ve gone on before about my old-fartiness and how I, at the tender age of 28, am prone to “Pff..Kids today!” style observations…at least in my head. Usually I have the good sense not to open this conservative aspect of my personality up to dialogue. It’s not even about stuff that’s really and truly bad like celebs who don’t wear underpants and therefore you can see their c-section scars…I mean, yeah, that’s grody but my bigger issue is technology. Back in the 90′s I would cringe when a commercial for a movie rental would say “Now available on VHS AND LASERDISC” because to me, LaserDisc represented something I did not have and would not ever have and I found anyone with a LaserDisc player to be a member of the elite society I would never be a part of. I was like a little activist against early technology adapters. This was also the era where I wore patchwork and turned my Salvation Army corduroys into bell bottoms. I have cleaned up my fashion but I still hate all the new options for watching movies. When it became “Now available on VHS and DVD”, I was still reluctant because I like to hear the tape zipping around the spools when I am kindly rewinding, thank you very much. I don’t trust shiny, prismatic discs any further than I can throw them like a frisbee and scratch them up, rendering them useless and unwatchable. Unlike my bulky but durable cassettes.
Now of course it’s all like “Now available on DVD and PSP”… or “DVD and BlueRay”…I don’t even know what BlueRay is. I did come around to the DVD thing, of course, although honestly I only bought a DVD player in 2006, for reals. But the other night something else caught my eye. I know most movies now have websites and I know that MySpace is being used more as a media outlet than a social networking site now, and I don’t really care. It’s kind of fun to claim “friendship” with a good band or a comedian you like, its a nice fan/artist reciprocity that keeps on giving. But during a commercial for the new Adam Brody vehicle In the Land of Women, there was a voiceover at the end of the spot that said “To find out more, visit myspace.com slash itlow“. Not “myspace.com/inthelandofwomen”, not that that would have been hard to remember, but ITLOW. Pronounced “it. low.”
Like…
Me: “Hey, Incredible Hulk! How’d your basement handle the storm we got this weekend, is the water level in your house really high?”
Hulk: “Eh. No, Hulk lucky. It low.”
This makes as much sense to me as Rachael Ray saying EVOO instead of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. You’re expending more energy on the acronym than you would just by saying the real deal thing you want to say. I’m fine with your movie opening up a MySpace account, and I’m sure an Adam Brody movie is definitely the right kind of film to warrant one, he is, or at least was, the king of what it means to be in high school in the early 2000′s. But seriously, sometimes a short cut isn’t worth it. It can’t be worth it. I’m more interested in making up more Hulkisms right now than I am about seeing the movie.
Me: “Yikes, diabetic Incredible Hulk, you look pale! What’s your blood sugar?”
Diabetic Incredible Hulk: “It low.”
Posted by lizblack 
